For AdopteesReunions 1. Participants should be emotionally prepared for the reunion experience: Adopted persons and birth parents may carry a picture in their mind of the perfect family, but the reunion experience may not live up to that ideal. In preparing for contact and reunion, adopted persons should prepare for a whole range of realities, including rejection. Although most birth parents are agreeable to further contact, research indicates that a minority, perhaps 9 to 15 percent, reject any contact. 2. Pacing the contact can be key to having a successful reunion and relationship: In a small study of adopted women who experienced reunions with birth kin, it was found that successful reunion experiences were associated with (1) preparation with a support group and (2) a slower pace between initial contact and actual meeting, involving letters and phone calls. This interval between contact and meeting allowed information to be exchanged and gave the "found" relatives some time to become accustomed to the idea. Such an interval can also give the found relatives time to share the news with spouses and children in their family, if they desire. |
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Reunions between birth family members have been the subject of books, articles, and television shows. Two important themes emerge from these accounts: